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My past relationships weren't what I needed, I guess. I was going to tell her, so I called her and left a voicemail. Allie and I talk about things and say, "We should try something new, we should try blah blah blah. No, and it never really did. It's not an industry I'm passionate about.

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I became precise in my rejection of people based solely on their looks, age, or interests. Conversations became circular and weird, all dancing around the fact that I had this weird job that was going to affect just about every aspect of a relationship, should it develop. Porn has taught me one thing absolutely: As clumsy as any negotiation about sexual politics has ever been, being a sex worker is like placing a loaded gun on the table.

It was hard. I found some good matches on Tinder. I come to the job with a somewhat unusual background, which is fine for friendships, but when it comes to developing more intimate relationships, it can be more challenging. Tinder was dangling some pretty sweet fruit in front of me. A guy with six pack abs kissing a dolphin with a graduate degree in comparative literature?

I made up a pat response. When a guy would ask me to tell them about myself, what I did, etc. This little chunk of text actually served me well. What I did find was that no matter what, it would shift the tone of the conversation. Of course, too, they wanted to know all about my work.

Most correspondences devolved into these vaguely sexual exchanges. I found myself in a mire. Tinder was too sexually charged for me because I was a sex worker. I decided to abandon dating sites for simply relying on people I met through Twitter or through friends, people who already know what I do. I wait for potential partners to come to me.

A lot of really interesting people are actually very open to the experience of dating a girl in the sex industry.

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When you put it all out there, you get some really amazing things back. I have a podcast where I interview comedians, and I found a guy from New York I really wanted to have on.

I saw he was coming to LA in the near future and we struck up a conversation on Twitter that quickly went to text. We had a good rapport. We decided to meet up at a show he was playing. After his set, we met at the bar and talked about a way to get him on my show.

He was leaving soon. He was curious about what I was about, what I wanted to do with my life, what my ambitions were. I tried to explain the premise of my show. This article was originally published at xoJane. Reprinted with permission from the author. They were only supposed to be in New York for a few days, but we hung out and we swapped numbers.

So the next day, they ended up coming all the way over to Brooklyn from New Jersey, and we hung out every single day. She ended up extending her stay in New York by an extra week before going back to L. We talked on the phone every single day, and she came out a few weeks later. It turned into a long-distance relationship.

Then we said, "We've got to make something happen. I ended up in L. How did you start telling your friends and family, and especially your mom, about her? I called her a few months down the road when I knew things were kind of serious. I was going to tell her, so I called her and left a voicemail. And she calls me a few hours later, "WHAT? It's a mix. I have some friends who say, "Dude, that is so cool," and then I have other friends who are like, "You know what, you found a girl who really cares about you and at the end of the day that's all that matters and we're happy for you.

People are like, "You're the luckiest man in the world. Be in a happy relationship? I don't know. It just happened. When was the first time you watched one of her films? I think it was probably about three days after [I met her]. I had some other friends from Ohio who were visiting me in New York and one of them knew who she was and apparently was one of those fans I didn't know about.

So he went and pulled up videos. What I was really happy to see was that, as far as porn goes, hers was some of the more classy, nice stuff that I've seen. So that was cool in my book. So what is it like to have sex with a porn star? Were you intimidated? I was intimidated, I won't lie. I thought, "I hope I don't screw this up. This is the most normal relationship I've ever been in.

Everything is so easy. I was intimidated at first, but once we started to get into it, you just lose track of time and go with the flow. Has she been one of the more adventurous partners you've had? She definitely is the most open partner that I've had. But that's great for me because I am too. My past relationships weren't what I needed, I guess.

Sometimes it's really uncomfortable to bring those things up to people. You can be dating a girl and say, "Hey, want to try xyz? Allie and I talk about things and say, "We should try something new, we should try blah blah blah. Have you ever been on set with her?

No, never. As far as her work, we're completely honest with each other about things. Sometimes brutally honest. But I'd rather have that than not know what's going on. I know what she does on set. I know everything. Does it make you uncomfortable, jealous, or upset? No, and it never really did.

There have been a couple times where something will happen on set that she'll tell me about later, and I'll be like, "Why didn't you tell me right away? Don't you think that's something I'd have wanted to know? They know what's up. She says, "This is my man, Michael.

At the end of the day, it's a business. How do you make sure you both stay healthy? This is something I didn't know, but performers can't be on set without a valid two-week test. She really only works with a small group of people.

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I called her a few months down the road when I knew things were kind of serious. She ended up extending her stay in New York by an extra week before going back to L. When I entered into porn in , I was in a relationship that I thought was going to last forever.

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Sometimes it's really uncomfortable to bring those things up to people. Conversations became circular and weird, all dancing around the fact that I had this weird job that was going to affect just about every aspect of a relationship, should it develop.


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COMMENTS

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